How do you say "rout" in Greek?

The playing fields at Gustavus were busy on Saturday afternoon, April 25–so busy, in fact, that the second annual Classics-Philosophy kickball game found itself being played not on a regulation field, but on a grassy patch near Mattson Hall, using bases made out of cardboard boxes. No matter. Nor did it matter that last year’s ball cracked when it was re-inflated, and the participants were forced to make do with a bright-blue, undersized number designed for use in a swimming pool. (Well, I guess this mattered a little bit, since it made every kick a fly ball, and it rendered fielding almost impossible–the thing just could not be thrown.)

Nor, it turns out, did it matter that the Philosophy department was hopelessly outnumbered–so outnumbered that, when the bases were loaded (as they often were when Philosophy was up to bat) there was scarely anyone left to kick.

Despite all those disadvantages, the Philosophy department still managed to, um–how shall I say this delicately?–subdue the Classicists, by a score of 17 to five, in nine innings.

MVP status goes to Classicist Bob (last name unknown) who caught a truly astonishing number of the Philosophy team’s pop flies. (The man was everywhere!) And Professor Sean Easton wins the “Velma” award for losing his glasses not once, but twice, while valiantly pitching for the Classicists in the second half of the game. On the Philosophy side, Joe Hillman wins “Most Daringest Plays” for stealing bases at the craziest rate.

The Classicists were gracious losers, serving up the victors pizza and agreeing to a rematch in twelve months. Indeed, there were even some high-flown discussions about a combined Classics-and-Philosophy team taking on some other department to a match.