Dude, I’m sure you’re right; the transcendental analytic IS the key to the whole thing. Now, just put the gun down.

News agencies are having something of a dry-humor field day with the report that two guys standing in line to buy beer in Rostov-on-Don, Russia got into a fight about Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason. The fight became so heated that one guy actually pulled out a gun and shot the other guy. Apparently the pistol fired rubber bullets and the victim is in no danger.

The AP reports that “It was not clear which of Kant’s ideas may have triggered the violence,” while Reuters notes “Many Russians love to discuss philosophy and history, often over a drink, but such discussions rarely end in shootings.” The Russian news agency  observes that “The attacker now faces up to a decade in prison…. That sentence would give him time to more thoroughly study the works of Kant, who contemplated a universal law of morality.”

Here in the U.S., where the weapons are much larger, it might be wise to keep your opinions about the Categorical Imperative to yourself the next time you’re waiting in line for beer. Just talk about the Twins or the Vikings instead.